my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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