I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize