Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
