Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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