It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
