she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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