That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
