after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
