FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
