You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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