Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
