I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
