You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
