my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
