I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize