You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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