Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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