I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
