I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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