How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
