dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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