there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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