this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
