There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize