just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
smell my finger.
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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