do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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