he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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