Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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