I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
