I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
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ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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