whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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