Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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