In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
