just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
