Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize