i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
