I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
