I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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