How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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