Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
