i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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