So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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