Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
