umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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