a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
