they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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