Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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