I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
