A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He did a backflip because drugs
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
