When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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