No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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