Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
