At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
