He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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