I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You are the jesus of drinking
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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