I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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