ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
