Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
