No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
