I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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