I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
